002 / {Naked Jaybird}

When I was little, any time we were naked, like fresh from the bath tub, my Dad used to call us "Naked Jaybirds." Apparently, he heard this term from my Uncle David, who used to call his own children this. A few weeks ago when Papa (my Dad) was giving Kaelynn her bath, he called her a Naked Jaybird. Kaelynn thought that term was the funnies thing she had ever heard and ran through the house, naked, calling herself a "Jaybird." Now, as she has fully transformed into a 2 year old, I often find her undressing, stripping down to the nude. She learned how to take off her diaper/pull-up and often takes it off. I know that all children go through the "naked phase." It's quite hilarious and I often wish I could take pictures of her running around in her birthday suit. She joyfully squawks, "Jaybird! Jaybird! I'm a Naked Jaybird! I'm a Jaybird!" as she enjoys her naked time. True, it's not always cute and adorable. Like when we are getting ready to go out and I turn around to find a naked toddler. But most of the time, my little "Jaybird" is adorably running her naked self through the house.

001 / {New Beginnings}

All of the posts before this one are an archive of my previous blog entries. My daughter is now two, so I am a bit behind on my blogging. Hopefully this blog will be a place where I can share some of the funny aspects of living with a toddler. Thanks for reading!

09182011 / {Mobile}

Kaelynn is completely active now. She is a crawling machine. The problem with this is, now someone needs to literally be watching her every second. We watch her, but when she played on the floor before, she didn't go to far, so you could walk away and grab something and she would be fine. Now, when you even think about walking away, she's halfway across the room. I think that it would be a genius idea if there were hamster balls for crawling infants. If I had a hamster ball to put Kaelynn in, I think we both would be happy. She could crawl wherever her little heart desired and I could get something accomplished. Seriously, this is a great idea!

The more mobile thing has spread out to pretty much all facets of her life. It is the most noticeable when she is on the changing table. Changing her diaper is like trying to rangle an octopus. She is squirming everywhere and throwing her arms out and her legs out and trying to roll over and shifting her hips. Oh my, the whole diaper changing process used to take about 2 minutes, now it's upwards towards 5, maybe 6! She is just so curious and headstrong.

08092011 / {Last Day as a SAHM}

Unfortunately, summer is over, which means my tenure as a stay at home mom {SAHM} is over too. 

It was great while it lasted, but I guess, like the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. Well, it's not coming to an end actually, I mean, seriously, I'll still be her MOTHER, just won't be one that gets to enjoy her all day every day (and besides, I would probably get sick of that, lol, right?)

Mostly, the big thing that I feel is worry. True, I don't have to worry about where we are going to send Kaelynn for daycare. Finally got that figured out {not that Arbor ever called me back}. We decided to go with Kamaina Kids, which is less money {although still expensive} and close to our home. We do have a fall back plan {a friend of my mom's} in case it doesn't end up working out, which is great too. 

But I'm worried about her {and me}. We had this great thing going; our days were scheduled and in sync. We had a routine! It was a great routine! And now I'm worried that her routine will be all screwed up. At the daycare, there are 6 other kids in her class. The ratio of student to teacher is 3 to 1, which is pretty good, but they are babies! I worry that she won't get enough attention. I worry that her day will get wonky. There is nothing better than 1 on 1 attention, and I recognize that as sucky as that may be, it's not in the cards for us {at least right now}. I worry about her eating; she just started eating solids; what if something about that gets messed up? What if she doesn't get enough to eat or drink? {I'm worrying too much right?}

I worry about her nap time. She pretty much only sleeps in the swing during her daytime naps. She likes to snuggle with the ribbon blanket, but the ribbon blanket can't go to school, no personal items like that are allowed. They don't have any swings {well, they have this little buzzer chair thing, that is similar}. So, does this mean that she won't be able to nap? Or does this mean that if she's tired enough, she'll figure it out? I want to make a schedule and a list of things that she likes and needs, but I don't want to turn into THAT parent, if you know what I mean. 

At least for this week & next, she'll still be with Corey. She doesn't start daycare until the 22nd. But does Corey know the routine?? I'm not sure. 

I know that Corey will have his own routine with her and it will be a good one too, but I just feel sad that it won't be with me. 

Today we had a great time at the Children's Discovery Center. It was a blast and I can't wait to take Kaelynn back when she is a little bigger {like when she's walking}. I was having fun too!! There are so many fun things to play with. On the one hand, I'm glad that we had that fun experience with all of our friends, but on the other hand, I'm a little bummed that Kaelynn & I's last weekday together wasn't a routine day. {We have a separate routine for the weekends}. But, it's different now anyway with Charlotte visiting.

[UGH. Is my firefox not working or is the internet not working? Seriously irritating me right now!]

And then there are the whole mixed feelings about being back at work. Eh, it's hard giving up summer. I mean, I love my job? I do enjoy my job & I think we are going to have a great year this year, but honestly, I really wish I was staying home with Kaelynn. And it's harder going back now, then it was in April, because now someone that I don't know {instead of Scyntha} will be watching her & that just makes me nervous {as you all know}. 

All I can do is give her extra snuggles in the morning and head off to work like the grown up that I am. It sucks, and we can't change that. I wish there was some way that I could hide her in the back of the classroom. The kids would never notice, right? If only we had daycare at work; wouldn't that be ideal? That would be like a dream. 

I thought about staying home. Especially when it seems like daycare would take up, literally, my whole paycheck. {Now, the question is, do I get a higher paying job, quit the job, or suck it up?} I do like my job, I really do. It's my 5th year at Assets. I'm like a oldie now! I know the ropes! I know the tricks! I just sometimes wonder, is it worth it? Is is worth having someone else spend more hours a week with her than I do? But then again, if I quit my job, there goes health insurance & dental & 401k. Health insurance is pretty much the deal breaker. We cannot have no health insurance with a baby. Definitely cannot. And I was on QUEST before and it pretty much sucks. I couldn't imagine being on that with a baby! Health insurance is so expensive. And then how will we pay our bills? But, how will be pay our bills when more than half of our money goes to childcare?? It's like seriously a catch-22. Lose lose. Which is really unfortunate! :( 

And I'm just being a pessimist because I am going to miss her so much while I'm back at work. How am I supposed to focus on work when I am constantly thinking/worrying about her? Bleh. 

Being a grown up sucks. Did I mention that already? It sucks!

And, I guess I better get back to that. I need to get my things in order for tomorrow and go and snuggle with my baby. <3

08022011 / {The Stress of Finding Affordable Childcare}

I thought we had this whole day care thing kinda together, I guess that was my mistake because it seems to all be unraveling.

We had decided to send Kaelynn to the Cole Academy because I really liked the one on one attention and the stages of development that they focused on.

Unfortunately, this place is about $1600 a MONTH for Kaelynn's age group. There is no way that we can afford that. Honestly, that's more than I bring home a month.

The people at the Cole Academy told us about Arbor Childcare Connections, which is a government subsidized organization that helps people pay for childcare. They told us that a lot of the people who send their children to the Cole Academy get money from Arbor. They even mentioned that some of them almost get a full ride. Since I figured we were in a similar financial situation, I thought, awesome! I have no problem paying even $500 a month for her child care.

So after a while I finally get a hold of the Arbor people. They send me an application & I send it back with all of the necessary paperwork. Then I get a call for a phone interview; the lady seems really optimistic. We are approved! But she doesn't know for how much. But now, I'm feeling really good. I feel like this whole childcare thing is taken care of and I don't have to stress about it or about going back to work and not having somewhere to send her.

Of course, we are trying to scramble to put together the deposit (of which Arbor doesn't cover). It's a lot of money, but we are going to make it work.

Then I get the letter back in the mail from Arbor. I thought I just didn't understand it. I thought maybe it might be a typo, but the paper says that we are going to get $119 a MONTH to cover our childcare. Wait a minute, $119? Seriously? That's not even 10% of the cost! I am so confused! I call the Arbor case worker, and leave a message. I call the next day, and leave a message. I've had to call 4 times already, 4 messages left. Why won't they call me back and EXPLAIN this to me! I don't know what is up. 

We were going to just pay the deposit to the Cole Academy and if I pay before Aug. 15th, I can have my first month half off, so we figured that we were covered until at least September. Then Corey found out today that the deposit covers THE LAST month of service & not the FIRST month, so we have to somehow come up with $3000 and not $1600 for her to go for two months! I don't know how people do it. It seems like this Cole Academy is even more expensive than MY school, which is pretty dang expensive! I wish we just had a daycare at work. There is a preschool at Chaminade, but it's for 2 years & up. The biggest problem is that Kaelynn is so young & the younger that you are, the more expensive you are.

And to make matters worse, the Cole Academy people called me today and said that Arbor sent them a check for $119 and are we going to come up with the rest of it? And I said that I was trying to find out from Arbor how much they were going to pay each month and the Cole Academy lady said that she thought it was just going to be $119 and I told her if that was the case, then we couldn't afford to send her there. And she said give her a call when I hear from the Arbor people.

And now I'm like distraught and I don't know what to say to the Arbor people without sounding distraught. Why so little bit? How are we supposed to pay for this on our own? 

And what if that is it? No mistake, $119 a month? What are we going to do with Kaelynn?? I go back to work next week! 

Now I have to find another place to send her? I don't know anyone who watches kids, especially children as young as her. I don't have time to interview all of these care takers. I don't know what to say to the Arbor people. How do I explain our situation in any different way? I wish someone else could just call them and figure out what the problem is. How did they come up with that magic number? How do I contest the amount? 

I am feeling extremely overwhelmed with all of this. :(

05222011 / {Attn: Nursing Mommas}

Last weekend, my sister, Scyntha & I went to the Baby Expo. It was bigger than the Dog Expo, especially because instead of having to navigate aisles filled with dogs, we now had to navigate aisles filled with small children and strollers. It was the trenches! However, it was worth it. Especially because I was able to talk to a few day care providers and because I discovered Undercover Mama.

Now, I am sad to report that I didn't dedicate as much time as I should have to this product at the time. I regret it because I have had to pay the retail price (although still discounted) instead of the special Baby Expo price.

Anyway, Scyntha stopped at this booth called, "Play Time Hawaii" because they were playing this music about baby sign language or something like that. It was a pretty irritating song, so naturally we were drawn to it. She started looking at the program and CDs and then saw this shirt. That's when she called me over (I'm not sure what I was looking at). She showed me the shirt, which I thought was pretty nifty, so I bought one (even though they had a special buy two Expo price. I wasn't sure if I was going to like it. Silly, silly me). (Also, the girl who was selling them had this super awesome iPhone plug in that could swipe credit cards, so that was really, really cool.)

Fast forward to home. I decided to test this shirt out. And let me tell you I FELL IN LOVE WITH IT!

Here's how it works: It is basically like a tube top. In the front however, there are hooks and a plastic loop for attaching it to your nursing bra. It makes nursing bras become nursing tank tops!! GENIUS! It also works with regular bras (the hook can attach in the same place on a regular bra) and make that regular bra become a tank top!! Wow. It's awesome. AND it's comfy. AND it doesn't roll up or fall down in the back.

Of course, every time I've worn it, Kaelynn has spit up all over it and then I've had to wash it. This is when I regret not buying two at the Expo. However, they do have a website found here Undercover Mama and a special going on, buy two for $45 with no shipping (regularly priced at $24.99). Free shipping? I'm there! They also sell the shirts in some boutiques that are listed on their website.

These shirts are doubly awesome especially because nursing tanks are so expensive. The one that I had was almost $30 to buy (at Motherhood Maternity), which is why I only have one. But with Undercover Mama, I can have one whenever I want one. Amazing.

I've already ordered two more. Now I'll have a black one (original), a white one, and a hot pink one! I'm super jazzed.

05222011 / {Discoveries}

I discover something new about her everyday.

She enjoys baths and having her diaper changed. She doesn't mind if the wipes are cold.

She wakes up smiling.

She loves being sung to. (Especially "All Around the Mulberry Bush" & "The Mahna Mahna Song" [from The Muppet Show]).

She likes made up stories.

She has discovered her voice and talks, makes noises, and "yells" and giggles at the sound. 

She can hold her own bottle and "helps" me feed herself.

She wants to sit up so badly and will strain in the Boppy or the car seat and then squawk when she can't. But sitting in the Bumbo makes her tired because she isn't used to it yet.

She practices kicking and "swam" while we had her in the big tub. She loves being in the water. I can't wait to be able to take her to the beach. Her legs are so strong.

She has the deepest, clearest blue eyes. I hope that they stay this way.

She fights sleep in her car seat, but always falls asleep as soon as we start driving.

She loves her ribbon blanket and can hold the ribbons. She falls asleep with the Minky side rubbing on her face. 

She doesn't mind Tummy Time. She is almost ready to roll over. She kicks her legs and can sort of scoot across the mat. If she's on her back on the play mat, she can kick her legs so she goes around in a circle. 

She likes when I rub her nose. It relaxes her and helps her fall asleep.

She has discovered how to pull her binky out of her mouth. She has almost figured out how to put it back in. Sometimes she just spits it out and it goes flying across the room.

She's serious about her milk. She will pretty much only cry if a) You don't feed her fast enough. b) You take the bottle out of her mouth for some reason (like to burp her). c) She's done nursing and wants a bottle. or d) She doesn't get enough milk. She wants the milks and she wants it now!!! 

When we are sitting together, she curls her hands around my fingers.

When we are playing on the floor mat, she will look to me as to say, "Look what I can do." She figured out how to make her play mat make noise. She concentrates on her hands and wills them to move the objects. It's like the Baby Force. 

When she is sitting in my arms, sometimes she will lay her head back on my shoulder and let out a big content sigh. 

When she is rocking in her swing, she falls asleep quickly.

It's magical being able to see her thinking and learning and growing up.

She falls asleep in Corey's arms, but not mine. 

Sometimes she just looks up at me and smiles. It is the most amazing feeling in the world. 

Sometimes when I'm nursing her, she pulls off and looks up at me, smiling, like she's saying, "Thank you Mommy. Thank you for this delicious milk." And it makes all of those months of frustration worth it. 

She is getting bigger and growing everyday. 

She fits a size 2 diaper! I was so sad to admit that. I didn't want to put away the size 1 diapers. She is wearing mostly 3-6 months clothes (but still fits some of the 0-3 months ones). It was sad (for me) to pack up her little newborn onsies and outfits. I can't believe that she used to be that small. I might be guilty of trying to put the too small clothes on her in my denial. 

I'm so glad it's almost summer and I can stay home with her again and play with her and enjoy her. 

It's so awesome being her Mommy.