Sunday, April 14, 2013
002 / {Naked Jaybird}
When I was little, any time we were naked, like fresh from the bath tub, my Dad used to call us "Naked Jaybirds." Apparently, he heard this term from my Uncle David, who used to call his own children this. A few weeks ago when Papa (my Dad) was giving Kaelynn her bath, he called her a Naked Jaybird. Kaelynn thought that term was the funnies thing she had ever heard and ran through the house, naked, calling herself a "Jaybird." Now, as she has fully transformed into a 2 year old, I often find her undressing, stripping down to the nude. She learned how to take off her diaper/pull-up and often takes it off. I know that all children go through the "naked phase." It's quite hilarious and I often wish I could take pictures of her running around in her birthday suit. She joyfully squawks, "Jaybird! Jaybird! I'm a Naked Jaybird! I'm a Jaybird!" as she enjoys her naked time. True, it's not always cute and adorable. Like when we are getting ready to go out and I turn around to find a naked toddler. But most of the time, my little "Jaybird" is adorably running her naked self through the house.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
001 / {New Beginnings}
All of the posts before this one are an archive of my previous blog entries. My daughter is now two, so I am a bit behind on my blogging. Hopefully this blog will be a place where I can share some of the funny aspects of living with a toddler. Thanks for reading!
09182011 / {Mobile}
Kaelynn is completely active now. She is a crawling machine. The problem with this is, now someone needs to literally be watching her every second. We watch her, but when she played on the floor before, she didn't go to far, so you could walk away and grab something and she would be fine. Now, when you even think about walking away, she's halfway across the room. I think that it would be a genius idea if there were hamster balls for crawling infants. If I had a hamster ball to put Kaelynn in, I think we both would be happy. She could crawl wherever her little heart desired and I could get something accomplished. Seriously, this is a great idea!
The more mobile thing has spread out to pretty much all facets of her life. It is the most noticeable when she is on the changing table. Changing her diaper is like trying to rangle an octopus. She is squirming everywhere and throwing her arms out and her legs out and trying to roll over and shifting her hips. Oh my, the whole diaper changing process used to take about 2 minutes, now it's upwards towards 5, maybe 6! She is just so curious and headstrong.
08092011 / {Last Day as a SAHM}
Unfortunately, summer is over, which means my tenure as a stay at home mom {SAHM} is over too.
It was great while it lasted, but I guess, like the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. Well, it's not coming to an end actually, I mean, seriously, I'll still be her MOTHER, just won't be one that gets to enjoy her all day every day (and besides, I would probably get sick of that, lol, right?)
Mostly, the big thing that I feel is worry. True, I don't have to worry about where we are going to send Kaelynn for daycare. Finally got that figured out {not that Arbor ever called me back}. We decided to go with Kamaina Kids, which is less money {although still expensive} and close to our home. We do have a fall back plan {a friend of my mom's} in case it doesn't end up working out, which is great too.
But I'm worried about her {and me}. We had this great thing going; our days were scheduled and in sync. We had a routine! It was a great routine! And now I'm worried that her routine will be all screwed up. At the daycare, there are 6 other kids in her class. The ratio of student to teacher is 3 to 1, which is pretty good, but they are babies! I worry that she won't get enough attention. I worry that her day will get wonky. There is nothing better than 1 on 1 attention, and I recognize that as sucky as that may be, it's not in the cards for us {at least right now}. I worry about her eating; she just started eating solids; what if something about that gets messed up? What if she doesn't get enough to eat or drink? {I'm worrying too much right?}
I worry about her nap time. She pretty much only sleeps in the swing during her daytime naps. She likes to snuggle with the ribbon blanket, but the ribbon blanket can't go to school, no personal items like that are allowed. They don't have any swings {well, they have this little buzzer chair thing, that is similar}. So, does this mean that she won't be able to nap? Or does this mean that if she's tired enough, she'll figure it out? I want to make a schedule and a list of things that she likes and needs, but I don't want to turn into THAT parent, if you know what I mean.
At least for this week & next, she'll still be with Corey. She doesn't start daycare until the 22nd. But does Corey know the routine?? I'm not sure.
I know that Corey will have his own routine with her and it will be a good one too, but I just feel sad that it won't be with me.
Today we had a great time at the Children's Discovery Center. It was a blast and I can't wait to take Kaelynn back when she is a little bigger {like when she's walking}. I was having fun too!! There are so many fun things to play with. On the one hand, I'm glad that we had that fun experience with all of our friends, but on the other hand, I'm a little bummed that Kaelynn & I's last weekday together wasn't a routine day. {We have a separate routine for the weekends}. But, it's different now anyway with Charlotte visiting.
[UGH. Is my firefox not working or is the internet not working? Seriously irritating me right now!]
And then there are the whole mixed feelings about being back at work. Eh, it's hard giving up summer. I mean, I love my job? I do enjoy my job & I think we are going to have a great year this year, but honestly, I really wish I was staying home with Kaelynn. And it's harder going back now, then it was in April, because now someone that I don't know {instead of Scyntha} will be watching her & that just makes me nervous {as you all know}.
All I can do is give her extra snuggles in the morning and head off to work like the grown up that I am. It sucks, and we can't change that. I wish there was some way that I could hide her in the back of the classroom. The kids would never notice, right? If only we had daycare at work; wouldn't that be ideal? That would be like a dream.
I thought about staying home. Especially when it seems like daycare would take up, literally, my whole paycheck. {Now, the question is, do I get a higher paying job, quit the job, or suck it up?} I do like my job, I really do. It's my 5th year at Assets. I'm like a oldie now! I know the ropes! I know the tricks! I just sometimes wonder, is it worth it? Is is worth having someone else spend more hours a week with her than I do? But then again, if I quit my job, there goes health insurance & dental & 401k. Health insurance is pretty much the deal breaker. We cannot have no health insurance with a baby. Definitely cannot. And I was on QUEST before and it pretty much sucks. I couldn't imagine being on that with a baby! Health insurance is so expensive. And then how will we pay our bills? But, how will be pay our bills when more than half of our money goes to childcare?? It's like seriously a catch-22. Lose lose. Which is really unfortunate! :(
And I'm just being a pessimist because I am going to miss her so much while I'm back at work. How am I supposed to focus on work when I am constantly thinking/worrying about her? Bleh.
Being a grown up sucks. Did I mention that already? It sucks!
And, I guess I better get back to that. I need to get my things in order for tomorrow and go and snuggle with my baby. <3
08022011 / {The Stress of Finding Affordable Childcare}
I thought we had this whole day care thing kinda together, I guess that was my mistake because it seems to all be unraveling.
We had decided to send Kaelynn to the Cole Academy because I really liked the one on one attention and the stages of development that they focused on.
Unfortunately, this place is about $1600 a MONTH for Kaelynn's age group. There is no way that we can afford that. Honestly, that's more than I bring home a month.
The people at the Cole Academy told us about Arbor Childcare Connections, which is a government subsidized organization that helps people pay for childcare. They told us that a lot of the people who send their children to the Cole Academy get money from Arbor. They even mentioned that some of them almost get a full ride. Since I figured we were in a similar financial situation, I thought, awesome! I have no problem paying even $500 a month for her child care.
So after a while I finally get a hold of the Arbor people. They send me an application & I send it back with all of the necessary paperwork. Then I get a call for a phone interview; the lady seems really optimistic. We are approved! But she doesn't know for how much. But now, I'm feeling really good. I feel like this whole childcare thing is taken care of and I don't have to stress about it or about going back to work and not having somewhere to send her.
Of course, we are trying to scramble to put together the deposit (of which Arbor doesn't cover). It's a lot of money, but we are going to make it work.
Then I get the letter back in the mail from Arbor. I thought I just didn't understand it. I thought maybe it might be a typo, but the paper says that we are going to get $119 a MONTH to cover our childcare. Wait a minute, $119? Seriously? That's not even 10% of the cost! I am so confused! I call the Arbor case worker, and leave a message. I call the next day, and leave a message. I've had to call 4 times already, 4 messages left. Why won't they call me back and EXPLAIN this to me! I don't know what is up.
We were going to just pay the deposit to the Cole Academy and if I pay before Aug. 15th, I can have my first month half off, so we figured that we were covered until at least September. Then Corey found out today that the deposit covers THE LAST month of service & not the FIRST month, so we have to somehow come up with $3000 and not $1600 for her to go for two months! I don't know how people do it. It seems like this Cole Academy is even more expensive than MY school, which is pretty dang expensive! I wish we just had a daycare at work. There is a preschool at Chaminade, but it's for 2 years & up. The biggest problem is that Kaelynn is so young & the younger that you are, the more expensive you are.
And to make matters worse, the Cole Academy people called me today and said that Arbor sent them a check for $119 and are we going to come up with the rest of it? And I said that I was trying to find out from Arbor how much they were going to pay each month and the Cole Academy lady said that she thought it was just going to be $119 and I told her if that was the case, then we couldn't afford to send her there. And she said give her a call when I hear from the Arbor people.
And now I'm like distraught and I don't know what to say to the Arbor people without sounding distraught. Why so little bit? How are we supposed to pay for this on our own?
And what if that is it? No mistake, $119 a month? What are we going to do with Kaelynn?? I go back to work next week!
Now I have to find another place to send her? I don't know anyone who watches kids, especially children as young as her. I don't have time to interview all of these care takers. I don't know what to say to the Arbor people. How do I explain our situation in any different way? I wish someone else could just call them and figure out what the problem is. How did they come up with that magic number? How do I contest the amount?
I am feeling extremely overwhelmed with all of this. :(
05222011 / {Attn: Nursing Mommas}
Last weekend, my sister, Scyntha & I went to the Baby Expo. It was bigger than the Dog Expo, especially because instead of having to navigate aisles filled with dogs, we now had to navigate aisles filled with small children and strollers. It was the trenches! However, it was worth it. Especially because I was able to talk to a few day care providers and because I discovered Undercover Mama.
Now, I am sad to report that I didn't dedicate as much time as I should have to this product at the time. I regret it because I have had to pay the retail price (although still discounted) instead of the special Baby Expo price.
Anyway, Scyntha stopped at this booth called, "Play Time Hawaii" because they were playing this music about baby sign language or something like that. It was a pretty irritating song, so naturally we were drawn to it. She started looking at the program and CDs and then saw this shirt. That's when she called me over (I'm not sure what I was looking at). She showed me the shirt, which I thought was pretty nifty, so I bought one (even though they had a special buy two Expo price. I wasn't sure if I was going to like it. Silly, silly me). (Also, the girl who was selling them had this super awesome iPhone plug in that could swipe credit cards, so that was really, really cool.)
Fast forward to home. I decided to test this shirt out. And let me tell you I FELL IN LOVE WITH IT!
Here's how it works: It is basically like a tube top. In the front however, there are hooks and a plastic loop for attaching it to your nursing bra. It makes nursing bras become nursing tank tops!! GENIUS! It also works with regular bras (the hook can attach in the same place on a regular bra) and make that regular bra become a tank top!! Wow. It's awesome. AND it's comfy. AND it doesn't roll up or fall down in the back.
Of course, every time I've worn it, Kaelynn has spit up all over it and then I've had to wash it. This is when I regret not buying two at the Expo. However, they do have a website found here Undercover Mama and a special going on, buy two for $45 with no shipping (regularly priced at $24.99). Free shipping? I'm there! They also sell the shirts in some boutiques that are listed on their website.
These shirts are doubly awesome especially because nursing tanks are so expensive. The one that I had was almost $30 to buy (at Motherhood Maternity), which is why I only have one. But with Undercover Mama, I can have one whenever I want one. Amazing.
I've already ordered two more. Now I'll have a black one (original), a white one, and a hot pink one! I'm super jazzed.
Now, I am sad to report that I didn't dedicate as much time as I should have to this product at the time. I regret it because I have had to pay the retail price (although still discounted) instead of the special Baby Expo price.
Anyway, Scyntha stopped at this booth called, "Play Time Hawaii" because they were playing this music about baby sign language or something like that. It was a pretty irritating song, so naturally we were drawn to it. She started looking at the program and CDs and then saw this shirt. That's when she called me over (I'm not sure what I was looking at). She showed me the shirt, which I thought was pretty nifty, so I bought one (even though they had a special buy two Expo price. I wasn't sure if I was going to like it. Silly, silly me). (Also, the girl who was selling them had this super awesome iPhone plug in that could swipe credit cards, so that was really, really cool.)
Fast forward to home. I decided to test this shirt out. And let me tell you I FELL IN LOVE WITH IT!
Here's how it works: It is basically like a tube top. In the front however, there are hooks and a plastic loop for attaching it to your nursing bra. It makes nursing bras become nursing tank tops!! GENIUS! It also works with regular bras (the hook can attach in the same place on a regular bra) and make that regular bra become a tank top!! Wow. It's awesome. AND it's comfy. AND it doesn't roll up or fall down in the back.
Of course, every time I've worn it, Kaelynn has spit up all over it and then I've had to wash it. This is when I regret not buying two at the Expo. However, they do have a website found here Undercover Mama and a special going on, buy two for $45 with no shipping (regularly priced at $24.99). Free shipping? I'm there! They also sell the shirts in some boutiques that are listed on their website.
These shirts are doubly awesome especially because nursing tanks are so expensive. The one that I had was almost $30 to buy (at Motherhood Maternity), which is why I only have one. But with Undercover Mama, I can have one whenever I want one. Amazing.
I've already ordered two more. Now I'll have a black one (original), a white one, and a hot pink one! I'm super jazzed.
05222011 / {Discoveries}
I discover something new about her everyday.
She enjoys baths and having her diaper changed. She doesn't mind if the wipes are cold.
She wakes up smiling.
She loves being sung to. (Especially "All Around the Mulberry Bush" & "The Mahna Mahna Song" [from The Muppet Show]).
She likes made up stories.
She has discovered her voice and talks, makes noises, and "yells" and giggles at the sound.
She can hold her own bottle and "helps" me feed herself.
She wants to sit up so badly and will strain in the Boppy or the car seat and then squawk when she can't. But sitting in the Bumbo makes her tired because she isn't used to it yet.
She practices kicking and "swam" while we had her in the big tub. She loves being in the water. I can't wait to be able to take her to the beach. Her legs are so strong.
She has the deepest, clearest blue eyes. I hope that they stay this way.
She fights sleep in her car seat, but always falls asleep as soon as we start driving.
She loves her ribbon blanket and can hold the ribbons. She falls asleep with the Minky side rubbing on her face.
She doesn't mind Tummy Time. She is almost ready to roll over. She kicks her legs and can sort of scoot across the mat. If she's on her back on the play mat, she can kick her legs so she goes around in a circle.
She likes when I rub her nose. It relaxes her and helps her fall asleep.
She has discovered how to pull her binky out of her mouth. She has almost figured out how to put it back in. Sometimes she just spits it out and it goes flying across the room.
She's serious about her milk. She will pretty much only cry if a) You don't feed her fast enough. b) You take the bottle out of her mouth for some reason (like to burp her). c) She's done nursing and wants a bottle. or d) She doesn't get enough milk. She wants the milks and she wants it now!!!
When we are sitting together, she curls her hands around my fingers.
When we are playing on the floor mat, she will look to me as to say, "Look what I can do." She figured out how to make her play mat make noise. She concentrates on her hands and wills them to move the objects. It's like the Baby Force.
When she is sitting in my arms, sometimes she will lay her head back on my shoulder and let out a big content sigh.
When she is rocking in her swing, she falls asleep quickly.
It's magical being able to see her thinking and learning and growing up.
She falls asleep in Corey's arms, but not mine.
Sometimes she just looks up at me and smiles. It is the most amazing feeling in the world.
Sometimes when I'm nursing her, she pulls off and looks up at me, smiling, like she's saying, "Thank you Mommy. Thank you for this delicious milk." And it makes all of those months of frustration worth it.
She is getting bigger and growing everyday.
She fits a size 2 diaper! I was so sad to admit that. I didn't want to put away the size 1 diapers. She is wearing mostly 3-6 months clothes (but still fits some of the 0-3 months ones). It was sad (for me) to pack up her little newborn onsies and outfits. I can't believe that she used to be that small. I might be guilty of trying to put the too small clothes on her in my denial.
I'm so glad it's almost summer and I can stay home with her again and play with her and enjoy her.
It's so awesome being her Mommy.
05032011 / {The Dreaded Daycare}
I have finally reached the first topic of motherhood that truly makes me want to cry. Yes, we struggled with the BF thing and I did come to tears a few times, however, this really truly, depresses & makes me feel anxious.
The dreaded... day care.
I have had it pretty easy so far. Fortunately, my sister, Scyntha lives around and offered to stay with her during the day. I have been extremely blessed that she came through for us. Kaelynn knows her & enjoys being at her house. It's worked out pretty great so far.
However, we got some bad news. Well, it's bad for us, but good for Scyntha. She starts her internship in the fall. This is the last step before she can graduate from her psychology masters program. It's bad because this internship will be during the day.. while I'm at work & while Corey is in school. Which, leaves Kaelynn with no one.
The options where I quit work or Corey drops out of school aren't really feasible seeing how we need money to live. Which, leaves us with ... daycare.
This makes me want to cry because a) I don't want her to be with someone I don't know all day b) I don't trust many people with my baby & c) daycare is EXPENSIVE. (We are talking $1100 a MONTH for a 6 month old infant.. and that's not even a FULL Day.) How do people afford this?? It's like almost ALL of my take home pay is going to go to daycare. Is it even worth it to work?
I understand that daycare is the norm for most people. I'm sure everyone has anxieties about sending their kids away for the day. I guess, I just thought that I had it pretty good with Scyntha. I guess I didn't really think of a possibility of Kaelynn not being at Scyntha's.
Also extremes like this don't make things look any brighter or make me feel any better.
I am sad that I can't stay at home with her during the day. I don't want someone I don't know being able to see her growing and hitting milestones before me. It sucks.
In my minor research, I have come across two places that take infants as young as 6 weeks: Cole Academy & Stepping Stones Academy. I heard good things about Cole Academy. Haven't heard much about Stepping Stones Academy. Does anyone have any experience with either of these? There is also Kaimaina Kids & Hawaii Kids at Work take infants, but I'm not sure what the child to adult ratio is.
I also know that we have to decide soon because you need to apply (who's to say if Cole even is taking new admission?) because there is a HIGH demand for daycare/preschool on this island. What if we don't get in? What am I supposed to do with her then?
I don't know what to do. My mom emailed her friend who used to watch babies but she's retiring, so there is a big fat no go there. :( I would have loved if she watched Kaelynn. She was great with babies and only took 1-2 of them on at a time. I know most places have a ratio of 4-1 for infants under 1 y/o... but still!
Daycares are full of germs (I know that exposer is good for her, but I don't want her to get sick!). I don't want someone I don't know practically raising her. I am being a humangus baby about this, but she's my baby and I am getting all stressed out about it. I don't know anyone who has a daycare, I can't use the military resources for daycares anymore, I'm not sure about the whole PATCH thing because to be really good, you have to interview like everyone on it and I don't have time to do that until school is over and who knows if that's too late.
Yeah, kinda sound like Debbie Downer.. but I, personally, didn't want to have to go the daycare route, which makes me have a negative attitude regarding the whole thing. It sucks, but I'm willing to accept help. Help me please? Any suggestions/advice is GLADLY appreciated. :(
The dreaded... day care.
I have had it pretty easy so far. Fortunately, my sister, Scyntha lives around and offered to stay with her during the day. I have been extremely blessed that she came through for us. Kaelynn knows her & enjoys being at her house. It's worked out pretty great so far.
However, we got some bad news. Well, it's bad for us, but good for Scyntha. She starts her internship in the fall. This is the last step before she can graduate from her psychology masters program. It's bad because this internship will be during the day.. while I'm at work & while Corey is in school. Which, leaves Kaelynn with no one.
The options where I quit work or Corey drops out of school aren't really feasible seeing how we need money to live. Which, leaves us with ... daycare.
This makes me want to cry because a) I don't want her to be with someone I don't know all day b) I don't trust many people with my baby & c) daycare is EXPENSIVE. (We are talking $1100 a MONTH for a 6 month old infant.. and that's not even a FULL Day.) How do people afford this?? It's like almost ALL of my take home pay is going to go to daycare. Is it even worth it to work?
I understand that daycare is the norm for most people. I'm sure everyone has anxieties about sending their kids away for the day. I guess, I just thought that I had it pretty good with Scyntha. I guess I didn't really think of a possibility of Kaelynn not being at Scyntha's.
Also extremes like this don't make things look any brighter or make me feel any better.
I am sad that I can't stay at home with her during the day. I don't want someone I don't know being able to see her growing and hitting milestones before me. It sucks.
In my minor research, I have come across two places that take infants as young as 6 weeks: Cole Academy & Stepping Stones Academy. I heard good things about Cole Academy. Haven't heard much about Stepping Stones Academy. Does anyone have any experience with either of these? There is also Kaimaina Kids & Hawaii Kids at Work take infants, but I'm not sure what the child to adult ratio is.
I also know that we have to decide soon because you need to apply (who's to say if Cole even is taking new admission?) because there is a HIGH demand for daycare/preschool on this island. What if we don't get in? What am I supposed to do with her then?
I don't know what to do. My mom emailed her friend who used to watch babies but she's retiring, so there is a big fat no go there. :( I would have loved if she watched Kaelynn. She was great with babies and only took 1-2 of them on at a time. I know most places have a ratio of 4-1 for infants under 1 y/o... but still!
Daycares are full of germs (I know that exposer is good for her, but I don't want her to get sick!). I don't want someone I don't know practically raising her. I am being a humangus baby about this, but she's my baby and I am getting all stressed out about it. I don't know anyone who has a daycare, I can't use the military resources for daycares anymore, I'm not sure about the whole PATCH thing because to be really good, you have to interview like everyone on it and I don't have time to do that until school is over and who knows if that's too late.
Yeah, kinda sound like Debbie Downer.. but I, personally, didn't want to have to go the daycare route, which makes me have a negative attitude regarding the whole thing. It sucks, but I'm willing to accept help. Help me please? Any suggestions/advice is GLADLY appreciated. :(
04062011 / {Morning Routines}
Kaelynn got up at 3 am this morning and threw off our whole routine. We had been getting up at 5 am. Then I feed her for 30ish minutes and then pass her off for Corey to give her some formula and then I can take my shower and get ready for school. It had worked fairly well for the last two days. I wake up at 5. Wake her up at 505. Change her diaper. And then by 510 she starts eating. Which means she is done about 540. Then I have 20 minutes to take a shower, get ready, and pack my lunch.
But, no. In typical baby fashion, she messed up the plan. She woke up early, I fed her and passed her off, but I couldn't get back to sleep because I was worried about Corey being too tired while he was feeding her. So, I finally got back to bed around 410. 50 minutes more of sleep? Ugh, I don't do so good on limited amounts of sleep. Especially at school, but at least it's a short day.
So on Monday, I was pretty worried about how the day would go. It was hard to leave her, but I didn't cry and I didn't harass Scyntha for hourly updates. She did fine and I did fine. Everyone at work was glad to see me back and the kids were happy. I showed them pictures and told them about her. Yesterday, she visited them in circle and they were super jazzed about that. :)
It is still hard to be away. I was worried about Scyntha seeing her do all those things that she does first, but I'm glad that it's her and not someone that she or I don't know. I'm sure If she rolls over for the first time at Scynthas she will do it again for us. Ah, I understand that I am very fortunate to have her to watch Kaelynn and I am grateful.
And because Ms Kaelynn threw off the schedule, I was going to have to pump at 7 am, but of course with the crazy messed up traffic, I'm probably going to be late to school and not be able to pump until who knows when because we have testing at 8 am. Lame. But what can you do?
But I'm bummed too nest in the trying to get everything together as I walk out the door, I forgot to give Kaelynn a kiss goodbye. Seems small, but I'm
pretty sad about this. :( Hopefully Corey will give her extra kisses from me.
Posted via LIVEJOURNAL.APP.
03272011 / {The worst part about her sleeping through the night is...}
waking up soaking wet!! I have mixed feelings about this. Those little bra pads are kinda a joke. They help when I'm hardly leaking at all, but they aren't good for overnight. LOL It's not fun having to wash my bra daily! But on the other hand, I do enjoy being able to finally sleep for 5-6 hours straight! On a positive note, she has been doing A LOT better with the latch! On average, she spends about 10 minutes on each side before she gets tired or wants to finish up with a bottle. I feel so successful! It is SO much better to feed her like this than to pump. I've been slacking off on pumping. I need to get back up on that because I will have to pump at work pretty soon. On Tuesday, we go back to see Gwen, the lactation consultant, maybe for the last time? I'm not sure what else she can do for us. But we are going to check on Kaelynn's weight and make sure she is in the right percentile and that she's getting enough to eat. Also, I will show her how I usually feed Kaelynn, like with what position and she will check it out and see if she can give me any more pointers. I feel extremely fortunate to have this service provided to me, free of charge. I must say, that I am really happy about that. I would have definitely given up way sooner if I hadn't had the positive feedback and support.
OOH, and if anyone who reads this has any knowledge in this: I am in desperate need of a nursing bra that I can wear to work. I wear the racer back knit ones at home but I don't think that they are appropriate for work. I have been searching high & low for one! I checked Macy's (they don't carry them anymore; discontinued), Sears (they don't carry my size), and Motherhood Maternity (they have only 2 styles in my "size".. though I'm not sure if that is in fact my size (might need to get resized there) and I bought both of them, however, one is too small in the band & uncomfortable and the other has straps that fall down constantly! Which is super irritating. :( So I'm really disappointed in both of those). I think they might have some at Target, but I haven't check there. Any other suggestions? I'm pretty sure I'm a 40DD or 40DDD, and that sucks because it's a really hard size to find. :( I'm disparate!
I can't believe Kaelynn is already 2 months old! WOW. They weren't lying when they said time goes by FAST! I wish I had been more diligent at taking a picture of her everyday. I try to do it now, even if we aren't doing anything special. She really changes daily. She has been smiling a lot more. She'll smile at pretty much anything you say in a high voice. My favorite way is to say, "Hi Pretty." She always smiles at me when I tell her that. She is has been interacting a lot more with us as well. She pushes up with her legs while she is in our arms or on our bellies. She is getting stronger everyday. I am happy that she is growing and learning and developing but I'm a little sad that she won't be my "little" baby for much longer!
I have one more week of leave and then it's back to work. That went by quickly as well. I've been alway from work since January 17th! That's 2 and a half months. Wow. It will be a BIG adjustment going back to work.I know that the kids & Kaye miss me at work and I miss them.. but I think I am going to miss Kaelynn more. I know that I shouldn't think about it too much or else I'm going to psych myself out and become even more anxious and worried about it. I just have to make sure and enjoy this last week off (more photoshoots??) with her. And everything will be fine. Scyntha spends A LOT of time with her so she is comfortable with her & vice versa. And Scyntha lives very close to school, so if there ever was a problem, we could take care of it pretty easily. And it will only be for a couple of hours. I think it's mostly that I feel like I have forgotten what it's like to be at work.
On a good note, I finally decided on & designed an announcement for Kaelynn's birth announcement. Now we just have to upload it to Costco.com and order the prints and then send them out. We used the GORGEOUS photos that miss Raina Skye took for us while she was out here visiting. She is a really talented photographer & a great person. The photos are amazing. After we get majority of them send out, I will post the announcement on her website & probably on Facebook too. I'm pretty pleased with the turn out as well. It's very bright. I had some other designs floating around in my head, but I went with this one because of the bright colors of the pictures. Anyway, I'm sure everyone will love it :)
I also updated her website with some pictures and other information, if anyone is interested in that: Kaelynn's Website
Here are some other things that I'm loving at the moment:
1. Socks from Trumpette We received the anniversary set of Mary Jane socks from our friend, Emily. These are the cutest things in the world! They are SPARKLY socks in the form of Mary Jane shoes. AMAZING. I have been trying to coordinate Kaelynn's outfits around these socks. Unfortunately, she can't wear them very long because she gets too warm, but while she has them on they are adorable & I try to take some pictures of that. I wish I had shoes to match!
2. Newborn Lounger by Boppy (I ALWAYS want to write Bobby.. why?!) Those of you with new babies on the way or new babies at home, this is a lifesaver. I'm serious. It's nice holding Kaelynn, but after a while, it's nicer to have her chill on the couch next to me. I just plop her in the lounger and she can see the world and sit on the couch. It's also so useful for taking pictures of her. We covered in with a white blanket for more professional shots or just took pictures of her sitting in it. It makes life so much easier. If you don't have one, you seriously need one. Trust me.
3. Still loving the burp cloths from Swaddle Designs I discovered that Target has a bunch of great things from this company. Awesome. But seriously, we have 6 of these burp cloths and I don't think that's enough (you wouldn't believe how quickly they get dirty!). I love them. They are large enough to cover your whole shoulder, they have pretty designs, they are comfortable, washable and sturdy! I am a big fan of this company.
Well, I suppose that's all I got for now.
OOH, and if anyone who reads this has any knowledge in this: I am in desperate need of a nursing bra that I can wear to work. I wear the racer back knit ones at home but I don't think that they are appropriate for work. I have been searching high & low for one! I checked Macy's (they don't carry them anymore; discontinued), Sears (they don't carry my size), and Motherhood Maternity (they have only 2 styles in my "size".. though I'm not sure if that is in fact my size (might need to get resized there) and I bought both of them, however, one is too small in the band & uncomfortable and the other has straps that fall down constantly! Which is super irritating. :( So I'm really disappointed in both of those). I think they might have some at Target, but I haven't check there. Any other suggestions? I'm pretty sure I'm a 40DD or 40DDD, and that sucks because it's a really hard size to find. :( I'm disparate!
I can't believe Kaelynn is already 2 months old! WOW. They weren't lying when they said time goes by FAST! I wish I had been more diligent at taking a picture of her everyday. I try to do it now, even if we aren't doing anything special. She really changes daily. She has been smiling a lot more. She'll smile at pretty much anything you say in a high voice. My favorite way is to say, "Hi Pretty." She always smiles at me when I tell her that. She is has been interacting a lot more with us as well. She pushes up with her legs while she is in our arms or on our bellies. She is getting stronger everyday. I am happy that she is growing and learning and developing but I'm a little sad that she won't be my "little" baby for much longer!
I have one more week of leave and then it's back to work. That went by quickly as well. I've been alway from work since January 17th! That's 2 and a half months. Wow. It will be a BIG adjustment going back to work.I know that the kids & Kaye miss me at work and I miss them.. but I think I am going to miss Kaelynn more. I know that I shouldn't think about it too much or else I'm going to psych myself out and become even more anxious and worried about it. I just have to make sure and enjoy this last week off (more photoshoots??) with her. And everything will be fine. Scyntha spends A LOT of time with her so she is comfortable with her & vice versa. And Scyntha lives very close to school, so if there ever was a problem, we could take care of it pretty easily. And it will only be for a couple of hours. I think it's mostly that I feel like I have forgotten what it's like to be at work.
On a good note, I finally decided on & designed an announcement for Kaelynn's birth announcement. Now we just have to upload it to Costco.com and order the prints and then send them out. We used the GORGEOUS photos that miss Raina Skye took for us while she was out here visiting. She is a really talented photographer & a great person. The photos are amazing. After we get majority of them send out, I will post the announcement on her website & probably on Facebook too. I'm pretty pleased with the turn out as well. It's very bright. I had some other designs floating around in my head, but I went with this one because of the bright colors of the pictures. Anyway, I'm sure everyone will love it :)
I also updated her website with some pictures and other information, if anyone is interested in that: Kaelynn's Website
Here are some other things that I'm loving at the moment:
1. Socks from Trumpette We received the anniversary set of Mary Jane socks from our friend, Emily. These are the cutest things in the world! They are SPARKLY socks in the form of Mary Jane shoes. AMAZING. I have been trying to coordinate Kaelynn's outfits around these socks. Unfortunately, she can't wear them very long because she gets too warm, but while she has them on they are adorable & I try to take some pictures of that. I wish I had shoes to match!
2. Newborn Lounger by Boppy (I ALWAYS want to write Bobby.. why?!) Those of you with new babies on the way or new babies at home, this is a lifesaver. I'm serious. It's nice holding Kaelynn, but after a while, it's nicer to have her chill on the couch next to me. I just plop her in the lounger and she can see the world and sit on the couch. It's also so useful for taking pictures of her. We covered in with a white blanket for more professional shots or just took pictures of her sitting in it. It makes life so much easier. If you don't have one, you seriously need one. Trust me.
3. Still loving the burp cloths from Swaddle Designs I discovered that Target has a bunch of great things from this company. Awesome. But seriously, we have 6 of these burp cloths and I don't think that's enough (you wouldn't believe how quickly they get dirty!). I love them. They are large enough to cover your whole shoulder, they have pretty designs, they are comfortable, washable and sturdy! I am a big fan of this company.
Well, I suppose that's all I got for now.
03102011 / {Kaelynn is the sun and we are all planets that orbit around her.}
I go back to work in 20ish days. The things that I am most scared of are 1) being super tired at work because of waking up the middle of the night & 2) missing her. Like, I get all used to being around her and then I have to go back to work and miss her all day long. But I have to go back to work. There isn't an option to stay home even though that's what I would ideally like to do. Even though it's pretty hard trying to navigate being at home all alone during the day. I think we have developed pretty nice system. And I know that Corey is away from her all day & misses her... but, I guess he isn't as used to his whole world like literally revolving around her and her eating/sleeping schedule. Eh, it's one of those things that I just have to suck up & being a grown up about.
And I have to get my things for work all situated. I have no idea where my work keys are. That's definitely NOT a good sign.
Next week is my Mom's Spring Break, so that will be super nice to have someone else around the house. And then the week after that, Corey will be on Spring Break & my younger sister, Charlotte will be home as well. That will be nice because it will be the first time that she will meet Kaelynn. Definitely have to get some calendar photos done.. cover, anyone? I mean, it's so rare that we are all together (and for a happy reason!).
Speaking of that.. the one year anniversary of my dear sweet Grandmother's passing is coming up. Weird. I can't believe it's almost been a year. I have been having dreams about her and thinking about her a lot more. We kinda refer to Kaelynn as being Grandma's baby.. like she picked her out in Heaven and sent her down to us. I talk to Kaelynn about Grandma and it's really saddening that they won't get to meet (although, I'm sure Grandma met her in Heaven, when she picked her out.) Kaelynn will, no doubt, know what a great and loving and amazing person Grandma was. And hopefully, one of these days, maybe next week, Kaelynn can Skype with Grandpa. I think that he would really like that.
My 5 week old baby has hit a milestone. She is too big for Newborn diapers, however, a tad too small for size 1 diapers. But size 1! I'm like, Yikes! She is growing up so fast! Where did the time go?! Dad said that before I know it, she will be graduating from high school (kinda like how he turned around and found his three daughters all grown up). That's crazy talk. And sometimes, when I see older girl clothes, I feel like saying, "Oh! I can't wait to see you in this!" or "I can't wait until you are big enough to wear this!" But then I have to stop myself, because seriously, I CAN wait. I try to enjoy these small, snuggly times as much as I can. Size 1 diapers... so this is just the beginning.
She slept in her actual crib for all of 5 minutes today before waking up and crying. I think that this partly had to do with Snickers being a super crybaby when she's in her kennel (there is a carpenter here putting in our wooden floored hallway) and the dog room is right next to the baby's room and she is super loud through the wall. Our goal is to have Kaelynn sleeping in her crib (and not in the playpen in the living room) AT MOST before I go back to work. 20 something days. I think she is big enough to sleep in her own room. Besides, the playpen has to go to Scyntha's house when I go back to work, so she's going to have a tough time sleeping in it at night time.
Carter's is having a sale. Which is dangerous because seriously, have you seen their clothing??? Because my naughty dogs chewed up two of her cutest outfits, I naturally had to go and pick them up again. I bought them in the 3 month old size. Corey says I shouldn't buy everything is in the same size because she won't be able to wear it all before she out grows it. She is can still fit newborn sized clothes, so I don't know why he is that worried. I figure she could probably wear the 3 month old size for a while. Most of the things look pretty big. Besides, the sizing is generic anyway because all babies are different sizes at 3 months anyway. Also Scyntha bought Kaelynn the cutest St. Patrick's Day dress. I can't wait to see her in it! :)
As for the feeding issue.. I think we have had some success on that front. She almost took a full feeding today on the breast before falling asleep. I had to give her some pumped breastmilk before she fell asleep. I guess the problem now is that I am not consistent. I don't breastfeed her at night or when we go out during the day. And now I have been feeling slightly panicky when I don't have very much milk when I pump and Mom says that's good because it means she is drinking it but then I'm like, there won't be any stored! Silly when ultimately my goal is to have her breastfeed mostly.. and then it's like as soon as she does that, I feel like I will be back at work and she will have to be drinking out of the bottle anyway.
However, I discovered something amazing on the bottle front. I had kinda been hearing a little buzz about these bottles, but I finally checked them out yesterday. They have a more natural nipple. It is made out of a light silicone and it actually goes in and moves like a really nipple when the baby is sucking on it. The bottle system is called Tommee Tippee and it's from England. They are only available to be bought at Babies R Us. So I bought some bottles (Oh, btw, Babies R US is having a BUY one get one HALF off sale on them right now, if anyone is interested). Kaelynn LOVES them! She spits up SO MUCH less and doesn't lose as much milk down her front or out of the sides of her mouth. I can see her latch onto them and then when she goes to the breast, it's she makes the right latch there too. We have had so much more success with the breastfeeding after she started using these new bottles and it has only been one day. A definite must for breast to bottle and vice versa babies. I wish I had discovered these bottles earlier on. Also the bottles are super cute and come in silver, pink or blue. Naturally, Kaelynn has the pink bottles. :)
My Lenten goal is to become more organized. I'm never good with giving up things. I'm pretty good with the doing someone good for someone else everyday as well. Definitely, if I try to organize at least one thing of mine (or put away my laundry, or sort through paperwork, or give away things I no longer need) I will be A LOT better off. And it will make a lot of things easier when I go back to work.
Missy Pants is awake.
And I have to get my things for work all situated. I have no idea where my work keys are. That's definitely NOT a good sign.
Next week is my Mom's Spring Break, so that will be super nice to have someone else around the house. And then the week after that, Corey will be on Spring Break & my younger sister, Charlotte will be home as well. That will be nice because it will be the first time that she will meet Kaelynn. Definitely have to get some calendar photos done.. cover, anyone? I mean, it's so rare that we are all together (and for a happy reason!).
Speaking of that.. the one year anniversary of my dear sweet Grandmother's passing is coming up. Weird. I can't believe it's almost been a year. I have been having dreams about her and thinking about her a lot more. We kinda refer to Kaelynn as being Grandma's baby.. like she picked her out in Heaven and sent her down to us. I talk to Kaelynn about Grandma and it's really saddening that they won't get to meet (although, I'm sure Grandma met her in Heaven, when she picked her out.) Kaelynn will, no doubt, know what a great and loving and amazing person Grandma was. And hopefully, one of these days, maybe next week, Kaelynn can Skype with Grandpa. I think that he would really like that.
My 5 week old baby has hit a milestone. She is too big for Newborn diapers, however, a tad too small for size 1 diapers. But size 1! I'm like, Yikes! She is growing up so fast! Where did the time go?! Dad said that before I know it, she will be graduating from high school (kinda like how he turned around and found his three daughters all grown up). That's crazy talk. And sometimes, when I see older girl clothes, I feel like saying, "Oh! I can't wait to see you in this!" or "I can't wait until you are big enough to wear this!" But then I have to stop myself, because seriously, I CAN wait. I try to enjoy these small, snuggly times as much as I can. Size 1 diapers... so this is just the beginning.
She slept in her actual crib for all of 5 minutes today before waking up and crying. I think that this partly had to do with Snickers being a super crybaby when she's in her kennel (there is a carpenter here putting in our wooden floored hallway) and the dog room is right next to the baby's room and she is super loud through the wall. Our goal is to have Kaelynn sleeping in her crib (and not in the playpen in the living room) AT MOST before I go back to work. 20 something days. I think she is big enough to sleep in her own room. Besides, the playpen has to go to Scyntha's house when I go back to work, so she's going to have a tough time sleeping in it at night time.
Carter's is having a sale. Which is dangerous because seriously, have you seen their clothing??? Because my naughty dogs chewed up two of her cutest outfits, I naturally had to go and pick them up again. I bought them in the 3 month old size. Corey says I shouldn't buy everything is in the same size because she won't be able to wear it all before she out grows it. She is can still fit newborn sized clothes, so I don't know why he is that worried. I figure she could probably wear the 3 month old size for a while. Most of the things look pretty big. Besides, the sizing is generic anyway because all babies are different sizes at 3 months anyway. Also Scyntha bought Kaelynn the cutest St. Patrick's Day dress. I can't wait to see her in it! :)
As for the feeding issue.. I think we have had some success on that front. She almost took a full feeding today on the breast before falling asleep. I had to give her some pumped breastmilk before she fell asleep. I guess the problem now is that I am not consistent. I don't breastfeed her at night or when we go out during the day. And now I have been feeling slightly panicky when I don't have very much milk when I pump and Mom says that's good because it means she is drinking it but then I'm like, there won't be any stored! Silly when ultimately my goal is to have her breastfeed mostly.. and then it's like as soon as she does that, I feel like I will be back at work and she will have to be drinking out of the bottle anyway.
However, I discovered something amazing on the bottle front. I had kinda been hearing a little buzz about these bottles, but I finally checked them out yesterday. They have a more natural nipple. It is made out of a light silicone and it actually goes in and moves like a really nipple when the baby is sucking on it. The bottle system is called Tommee Tippee and it's from England. They are only available to be bought at Babies R Us. So I bought some bottles (Oh, btw, Babies R US is having a BUY one get one HALF off sale on them right now, if anyone is interested). Kaelynn LOVES them! She spits up SO MUCH less and doesn't lose as much milk down her front or out of the sides of her mouth. I can see her latch onto them and then when she goes to the breast, it's she makes the right latch there too. We have had so much more success with the breastfeeding after she started using these new bottles and it has only been one day. A definite must for breast to bottle and vice versa babies. I wish I had discovered these bottles earlier on. Also the bottles are super cute and come in silver, pink or blue. Naturally, Kaelynn has the pink bottles. :)
My Lenten goal is to become more organized. I'm never good with giving up things. I'm pretty good with the doing someone good for someone else everyday as well. Definitely, if I try to organize at least one thing of mine (or put away my laundry, or sort through paperwork, or give away things I no longer need) I will be A LOT better off. And it will make a lot of things easier when I go back to work.
Missy Pants is awake.
03022011 / {Literally Crying Over Spilled Milk}
Getting up in the middle of the night is one thing, however, it's a completely different thing when you add actually trying to get something accomplished. Such as pouring and heating up milk.
Two nights ago, I was especially tired. Not sure why. It seems as though about every third day, I get even more tired. This night, apparently was one of those nights.
First, some backstory... Now, it has seemed that Kaelynn & I .. we have been having some struggles over this whole BF (breastfeeding) thing. Is it me? (I've never done this before). Is it her? (She's never done this before.) Whatever the case is, we have been struggling for the last month on trying to find our BF ying & yang.
In the meantime, I pump milk for her. For anyone who has never done this.. it's not that awesome. Basically it's not using your hands for 15 minutes while air vacuums milk out your nipples. It's not fun & it doesn't particularly feel good. But alas, the baby has to eat. (Have you ever smelt formula? Doesn't smell good. BM (breastmlik) is way better). Anyway, for the last month, approximately every THREE hours, I pump milk. In the beginning I made about 30 mLs on each side. On a good day, I can get about 60 mLs on each side. Each day fluctuates. It's pretty hard to determine how much milk will come out of each side.
So this last week, I haven't been making that much milk. It's probably because I haven't been really dedicated to the whole EVERY THREE HOURS thing. (Seriously, where does your day go???) I've been averaging about 30-45 mLs. Kaelynn drinks about 110 mLs during a feeding, so we have been having to supplement with formula a lot more, so my supply can hopefully catch up.
Anyway, back to that tired, tired night.... Corey was feeding Kaelynn and I had just finished pumping. I think I had about 30 mLs on one side and 45 mLs on the other side. I was taking the pumping equipment off of the top of the bottles and getting ready to put the cap on, when I accidentally knocked over the 45 mL bottle.
45 mLs of my hard pumped milk spilt all over the counter. What was I to do? I cried. Yes, I cried over that spilled milk. I was so tired and so worn out and so upsets that that milk which was so hard to get was dripping on to the floor. Poor Corey. He had to deal with TWO crybabies.
I have been feeling like I have lost at this whole BF thing. It feels like she will never get it and I'll be doomed to pump milk for the rest of her life. (Honestly, if she doesn't latch on, I don't think I will make it to a year of BF.. maybe 6 months.. even that is such a long time.)
Here's my silver lining...
Yesterday, we went back to the Lactation Specialist, Gwen. (Thank you Kaiser for your lovely Lactation Specialists that I don't have to pay to see). We have been seeing Gwen, literally since Kaelynn was born. I think we have been to 6 appointments which are approximately 2ish hours long. You would think that we would have made some progress by now. Actually, we did.
Gwen said that most babies don't know how to BF when they are born. It's a learned behavior. I didn't know that. I guess I assumed that BF was something that a baby knew how to do. How did babies survive without BF before formula?? I mean those babies had to figure it out if they wanted to eat, so why couldn't Kaelynn? (For one, she definitely has her father's temper. Wow. She is a screamer when she is mad/hungry). It seems as though not everyone else has this problem. I was watching "A Baby Story" on TLC and it seems like everyone of them can feed their babies like no big deal. It's such a misconception that MOST babies don't know how to BF right off the bat.
Gwen said that what a baby does up to when they are approximentaly 1 month old is instinct. After 1 month, they start to remember and use what they have learned. So Kaelynn (who had been doing a lot of the right stuff) should catch on after 1 month. And what do you know? Yesterday, she was over a month old.
So we tried our regular positions and still that pouty rosebud mouth would not open to accomidate. Then Gwen suggested we try a different position. I needed to tickle her nose with my nipple. And VOILA her mouth OPENED. And AMAZING she LATCHED ON! I was in shock. My smart 1 month old baby, latched on for about 15 minutes (which is the right amount of time) and she drank over 1 oz. of milk! That's 30 mLs! Then we tried with the other side.. she latched on, but not as well as the first side.. but still was able to drink milk!!!
I felt like a success! We have made progress! All of my stress and crying and frustrations have paid off! I do see that light at the end of our BF tunnel.
True, today, she didn't do as well as yesterday (maybe the other set of hands helps).. but I know that she is going to get this. I know that our BF story is going to have a happy ending. I will still pump milk for her but I have a feeling that we are going to find our ying & yang soon.
Two nights ago, I was especially tired. Not sure why. It seems as though about every third day, I get even more tired. This night, apparently was one of those nights.
First, some backstory... Now, it has seemed that Kaelynn & I .. we have been having some struggles over this whole BF (breastfeeding) thing. Is it me? (I've never done this before). Is it her? (She's never done this before.) Whatever the case is, we have been struggling for the last month on trying to find our BF ying & yang.
In the meantime, I pump milk for her. For anyone who has never done this.. it's not that awesome. Basically it's not using your hands for 15 minutes while air vacuums milk out your nipples. It's not fun & it doesn't particularly feel good. But alas, the baby has to eat. (Have you ever smelt formula? Doesn't smell good. BM (breastmlik) is way better). Anyway, for the last month, approximately every THREE hours, I pump milk. In the beginning I made about 30 mLs on each side. On a good day, I can get about 60 mLs on each side. Each day fluctuates. It's pretty hard to determine how much milk will come out of each side.
So this last week, I haven't been making that much milk. It's probably because I haven't been really dedicated to the whole EVERY THREE HOURS thing. (Seriously, where does your day go???) I've been averaging about 30-45 mLs. Kaelynn drinks about 110 mLs during a feeding, so we have been having to supplement with formula a lot more, so my supply can hopefully catch up.
Anyway, back to that tired, tired night.... Corey was feeding Kaelynn and I had just finished pumping. I think I had about 30 mLs on one side and 45 mLs on the other side. I was taking the pumping equipment off of the top of the bottles and getting ready to put the cap on, when I accidentally knocked over the 45 mL bottle.
45 mLs of my hard pumped milk spilt all over the counter. What was I to do? I cried. Yes, I cried over that spilled milk. I was so tired and so worn out and so upsets that that milk which was so hard to get was dripping on to the floor. Poor Corey. He had to deal with TWO crybabies.
I have been feeling like I have lost at this whole BF thing. It feels like she will never get it and I'll be doomed to pump milk for the rest of her life. (Honestly, if she doesn't latch on, I don't think I will make it to a year of BF.. maybe 6 months.. even that is such a long time.)
Here's my silver lining...
Yesterday, we went back to the Lactation Specialist, Gwen. (Thank you Kaiser for your lovely Lactation Specialists that I don't have to pay to see). We have been seeing Gwen, literally since Kaelynn was born. I think we have been to 6 appointments which are approximately 2ish hours long. You would think that we would have made some progress by now. Actually, we did.
Gwen said that most babies don't know how to BF when they are born. It's a learned behavior. I didn't know that. I guess I assumed that BF was something that a baby knew how to do. How did babies survive without BF before formula?? I mean those babies had to figure it out if they wanted to eat, so why couldn't Kaelynn? (For one, she definitely has her father's temper. Wow. She is a screamer when she is mad/hungry). It seems as though not everyone else has this problem. I was watching "A Baby Story" on TLC and it seems like everyone of them can feed their babies like no big deal. It's such a misconception that MOST babies don't know how to BF right off the bat.
Gwen said that what a baby does up to when they are approximentaly 1 month old is instinct. After 1 month, they start to remember and use what they have learned. So Kaelynn (who had been doing a lot of the right stuff) should catch on after 1 month. And what do you know? Yesterday, she was over a month old.
So we tried our regular positions and still that pouty rosebud mouth would not open to accomidate. Then Gwen suggested we try a different position. I needed to tickle her nose with my nipple. And VOILA her mouth OPENED. And AMAZING she LATCHED ON! I was in shock. My smart 1 month old baby, latched on for about 15 minutes (which is the right amount of time) and she drank over 1 oz. of milk! That's 30 mLs! Then we tried with the other side.. she latched on, but not as well as the first side.. but still was able to drink milk!!!
I felt like a success! We have made progress! All of my stress and crying and frustrations have paid off! I do see that light at the end of our BF tunnel.
True, today, she didn't do as well as yesterday (maybe the other set of hands helps).. but I know that she is going to get this. I know that our BF story is going to have a happy ending. I will still pump milk for her but I have a feeling that we are going to find our ying & yang soon.
02242011 / {Mommy "Can't Live Without" List}
I was thinking yesterday about a few products that are seriously on my "Can't Live Without" List. I thought I would share because I have lots of Mommy friends & some Soon To Be Mommies. (Still feels pretty crazy to refer to myself as "Mommy").
1. Baby Burpies by Swaddle Designs
I received one set of these on my registry and loved them so much that we got 2 more sets. They are large and soft and have really pretty designs.I'm glad that we have so many (you would not believe how fast she goes through them!) They are way better than any of the other burp cloths that we have. It is IMPORTANT to have a BIG burp cloth. Those small ones are useless. No one needs spit up running down their back or their front!
2. SnugRide Stroller by Graco
So, I was under the impression that I needed one of those bulky stroller systems that has everything that goes together. Luckily, the one that we did get was from a neighbor, so it's okay. However, I had no idea how much I would LOVE this stroller. I recieved mine from my friend April at my baby shower. It's great. Basically it's just the frame of the stroller. The car seat (the one that the baby fits goes in in those big stroller systems) fits prefectly into this frame. The stroller is really light and not bulky at all. The lightness is a must after having a baby! I couldn't carry anything heavier than 10 lbs! They are inexpensive and last as long as the baby is in that infant seat (they guestimate up to 35 lbs).
3. Cradle 'N Swing by Fisher-Price
We didn't have a swing in the beginning but now I can defintetly say it was one of the BEST purchases we made. As I type this, my darling is snoozing sweetly in said swing. It's awesome. The swing we have has 3 positions, so she can swing side to side or front to back. It also has a rotating mobile with a mirror (that she recently discovered) and plays 4 different songs or sounds. We have the "My Little Lamb" theme and it's so cute. The part she sits in has lamb ears! Late in the night, when she refuses to sleep, the swing is a miracle. It also gives her a chance to check out her surroundings and gives me a chance to use my arms! We opted out of the bouncer because of the dogs (and my mom said I hated it!) but I am so happy that we bought the swing.
4. Infant Lounger by Boppy
Speaking of having your hands free and allowing baby to check out their surroundings, this infant lounger is awesome. I have used to so many times! Want to take some pictures?? Plop the baby into the lounger and they are right there for your posing pleasure. I've covered the lounger with a blanket and posed Kaelynn in a mock photoshoot. We sit her on the couch in the lounger next to us. I put her in the lounger at my sister, Scyntha's house on the kitchen table so her crazy dog, Molly can't lick her face. I don't have one of the actual Boppy pillows, but I am extremely pleased with the infant lounger and it's many uses. Definitely a must have!
5. Pump in Style by Medela
I thought about my 5th choice for a while and I decided to go with this because literally, I spend so much time with it, it has become something I can't live without. So, appearently only like 10% of babies come out of the womb with knowledge of how to latch on to breastfeed. Who knew? With all of the pro-breastfeeding advertisments everywhere, one would think that it would be EASIER to do it. I am all for breastfeeding. I understand that breastmilk is EXACTLY what Kaelynn needs and will help her not get sick and be healthy and everything, but seriously, I have felt like giving up so many times! She has SUCH a TINY mouth. She is impatient. She gets frustrated (me too). There are a mulittude of problems that we are having (as a pair) with this whole breastfeeding things. Luckily, we are able to go to a Lactation specialist once a week to learn new techniques and to practice. Hopefully she will catch on soon! So, since she won't latch on, I pump milk for her. Yes, it's a serious chore because I feel like I am always doing it (approx. every 3 hours), but I do it for her. However, back to the product.... this breastpump is awesome. It is electric and it has a battery pack. It's a double pump, which means more milk in less time (plus!) and it has a bag for easy transportation (ie, perfect for when I go back to work.) I bought it with the idea I wouldn't have to USE it until I went back to work, but at least now I know how to use it. I think a pump is great for anyone who is breastfeeding and even though this one is expensive, it's worth every penny. I am very pleased with it. And this way she gets to drink breastmilk and I don't have to be the one who feeds her all the time.
Okay, there's my top 5.
Anyone got anything YOU can't live without?? I'd love to hear it! :)
Here are my Top 5 products (so far) in no particular order.
1. Baby Burpies by Swaddle Designs
I received one set of these on my registry and loved them so much that we got 2 more sets. They are large and soft and have really pretty designs.I'm glad that we have so many (you would not believe how fast she goes through them!) They are way better than any of the other burp cloths that we have. It is IMPORTANT to have a BIG burp cloth. Those small ones are useless. No one needs spit up running down their back or their front!
2. SnugRide Stroller by Graco
So, I was under the impression that I needed one of those bulky stroller systems that has everything that goes together. Luckily, the one that we did get was from a neighbor, so it's okay. However, I had no idea how much I would LOVE this stroller. I recieved mine from my friend April at my baby shower. It's great. Basically it's just the frame of the stroller. The car seat (the one that the baby fits goes in in those big stroller systems) fits prefectly into this frame. The stroller is really light and not bulky at all. The lightness is a must after having a baby! I couldn't carry anything heavier than 10 lbs! They are inexpensive and last as long as the baby is in that infant seat (they guestimate up to 35 lbs).
3. Cradle 'N Swing by Fisher-Price
We didn't have a swing in the beginning but now I can defintetly say it was one of the BEST purchases we made. As I type this, my darling is snoozing sweetly in said swing. It's awesome. The swing we have has 3 positions, so she can swing side to side or front to back. It also has a rotating mobile with a mirror (that she recently discovered) and plays 4 different songs or sounds. We have the "My Little Lamb" theme and it's so cute. The part she sits in has lamb ears! Late in the night, when she refuses to sleep, the swing is a miracle. It also gives her a chance to check out her surroundings and gives me a chance to use my arms! We opted out of the bouncer because of the dogs (and my mom said I hated it!) but I am so happy that we bought the swing.
4. Infant Lounger by Boppy
Speaking of having your hands free and allowing baby to check out their surroundings, this infant lounger is awesome. I have used to so many times! Want to take some pictures?? Plop the baby into the lounger and they are right there for your posing pleasure. I've covered the lounger with a blanket and posed Kaelynn in a mock photoshoot. We sit her on the couch in the lounger next to us. I put her in the lounger at my sister, Scyntha's house on the kitchen table so her crazy dog, Molly can't lick her face. I don't have one of the actual Boppy pillows, but I am extremely pleased with the infant lounger and it's many uses. Definitely a must have!
5. Pump in Style by Medela
I thought about my 5th choice for a while and I decided to go with this because literally, I spend so much time with it, it has become something I can't live without. So, appearently only like 10% of babies come out of the womb with knowledge of how to latch on to breastfeed. Who knew? With all of the pro-breastfeeding advertisments everywhere, one would think that it would be EASIER to do it. I am all for breastfeeding. I understand that breastmilk is EXACTLY what Kaelynn needs and will help her not get sick and be healthy and everything, but seriously, I have felt like giving up so many times! She has SUCH a TINY mouth. She is impatient. She gets frustrated (me too). There are a mulittude of problems that we are having (as a pair) with this whole breastfeeding things. Luckily, we are able to go to a Lactation specialist once a week to learn new techniques and to practice. Hopefully she will catch on soon! So, since she won't latch on, I pump milk for her. Yes, it's a serious chore because I feel like I am always doing it (approx. every 3 hours), but I do it for her. However, back to the product.... this breastpump is awesome. It is electric and it has a battery pack. It's a double pump, which means more milk in less time (plus!) and it has a bag for easy transportation (ie, perfect for when I go back to work.) I bought it with the idea I wouldn't have to USE it until I went back to work, but at least now I know how to use it. I think a pump is great for anyone who is breastfeeding and even though this one is expensive, it's worth every penny. I am very pleased with it. And this way she gets to drink breastmilk and I don't have to be the one who feeds her all the time.
Okay, there's my top 5.
Anyone got anything YOU can't live without?? I'd love to hear it! :)
02232011 / {Ramblings at 3 a.m. Feedings [Part 1]}
It always seems like I feel the most creative when I am half asleep at 3 a.m. Of course, this is also the least likely time for me to have any paper or pen or to be able to sit at the computer and compose something out of these thoughts. Here are some snippets that I actually remember in the morning.
I never was one to go without sleep. College: no all-nighters for me. I function so much better on at least 8 hours. However, ever since Ms. Kaelynn arrived, those blissful 8 hour nights are a thing of the past. Sure, I might be able to squeeze out 8 hours on a weekend (Thank God for Grandparents), but they come in blocks of 2 hours, 3 hours, 1 hour, 2 hours. That is definitely NOT as restful as 8 solid hours. You find yourself saying things that don't make sense and forgetting words half way through a sentence. I find the "witching hour" .. the elusive, 3 a.m. to be my most brain fogging time. I can barely keep my eyes open; let alone warm a bottle, feed the bottle, burp the baby, rock the baby to sleep, and pump new milk, which is the usual routine for said middle of the night feedings. It's a miracle that all that happens. However, usually, my darling husband, Corey, is there to help me with all of that. His "witching hour" is at 4-5 a.m., which is his most tired time. But usually by that time, I have everything down. Sleep.. I still don't think it's overrated.. I do dearly miss it. (And by the way, what is this "sleep when the baby sleeps" nonsense?? Seriously, no matter how tired I am, I find it extremely difficult to sleep during the day time. I am not a napper. And, I feel like I should be doing other things that I truly miss like taking a shower or blogging or checking my 300 new message email account while she is sleeping. Or making a zillion phone calls. And not to mention, even if I do find the time to lay down and rest either a) she wakes up or b) the dogs wake her up, so it's not even worth it to try. Like I said, sleep, not meant for me).
Well, that's all I can remember for now and I think I hear my little princess sirring in her bed, dreaming milk flavored dreams and wanting to make those dreams a reality.
Maybe I should get a tape recorder and record my brilliant thoughts at 3 a.m. That would be worth reading/listening to.
01242011 / {Changes are Coming}
My mom says this is what they call "the calm before the storm." The last days before literally EVERYTHING changes. Before your whole life is completely different. And you don't go back to how it was ever again. It's like, when you are single, you assume that more than likely you won't be single forever. You know that eventually you will meet someone and start that "next phase" of life. And when you are married, things change, but for the most part, usually, you can retain most of your old life. And of course some people divorce so technically marriage isn't forever. But it's like, when you have a baby. It's like you are that baby's parent FOREVER. It's like, once you are a parent, that's it. You are in-charge of someone else. It's like such a crazy idea. In 5 days (give or take), it's not just Corey & Me. It's like, someone else will always be in our lives. Someone that for the first years of her life will depend SOLEY on us. And once she's here, it's like, you can't go back to how it was "before." I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't want like "before".. I'm happy that she is coming. But it's just crazy to think about your WHOLE life changing. Everything is going to be about her. Is she hungry? Is she tired? Is she okay? Is she sick? We go to work to support her. We go to the store to buy diapers for her. She becomes that whole reason for living. It's amazing that one person, as small as they are, can truly become the center of your world.
And of course, with changes come insecurities and anxieties. And "What was I thinking?!" And "Am I truly ready for this?" Though they say, that you never really can be TRULY ready for such a dramatic change. Never ever completely financially sound or mentally sound... it's just something that goes with the NEXT PHASE of life. And it's not that I don't think I am "ready"... I am just, honestly, kinda scared. Especially because it's like, you have no bases for an experience like this at all. Like maybe they might say, "Oh, having a baby? It's like skydiving. It's like free falling out of a perfectly fine airplane." Then I would say, "Okay, sounds like I need to go skydiving then." And then I have a bases for at least something that might be some what similar to what I might experience. But no, they don't tell you that. Honestly, the things that I hear kind of all contradict each other, so basically, it's like FIGURE IT OUT. Here's your baby. Make it happen! That just seriously BLOWS my mind. I am a competent person. I can usually figure out how to solve problems and how to carry on, so most of me knows that I will be perfectly fine taking care of a new life.. but.. it really is still scary.
But like someone said, most of the fear comes from NOT KNOWING. By being human, we tend to fear the unknown. Things are sensible when we can have at least a small comparison to something else. Labor doesn't hurt, you are just tense because you don't know what to expect. I'm not completely on board with that one. I know, everyone is different. I mean, really, I didn't even know I was pregnant for 4 months. That's like completely different from like everyone I know (besides those crazy people on tv. Hah). But the closer that ticker gets to 1.. to 0.. the heart rate picks up, the anxiety sets in, the fear settles itself down. "It's a natural process"... "Women have been having babies for CENTURIES"... "If it really sucked as much as people said it did, our species would die out" ... I guess I never really thought about when it would be ME. You see people having children all over the place. But it's so different wrapping that thought around yourself. I know everything will be fine. I have lots of great support people here around me.
Listening to the quiet of the house... the dogs are napping... I'm listening to soft music... the fan is blowing... I pretty much only have to worry about myself... and then that's when it changes.
And I know.. we won't care that everything is different. We will embrace her tiny frame and her small parted lips and how she completely turned our world inside out and upside down.
11302010 / {The Awesomeness that is December}
And, because this is like the week of ALL THINGS SPECIAL, on Saturday, it's my baby shower. Yah! My MIL, Linda is flying in just to come. I am really looking forward to it. All things baby (even though she has more presents that I do!) is very exciting. My friends have great taste (I mean they are my friends aren't they?). The festivities could last long into the night. You know how pregnant ladies love to party! (And by pregnant ladies, I mean me, because there will only be two pregnant ladies at said party, including myself.)
AND if this week couldn't get EVEN BETTER, on Sunday, we are going to see Kaelynn! Like see her, really see what she looks like, until the actual day that we actually get to see her (ie the day that she is born). We have an appointment for a 3D/4D ultrasound! Wow. I am so impressed with this technology. The babies like totally look exactly like their ultrasound picture when they come out. We get to see her moving around and like being all baby like. I am so in awe. Of course, part of me is like "SO CAN'T WAIT UNTIL YOU GET HERE!!" and the other part of me is like, "Holy crap, we are going to have a baby in here soon!" I am like so totally still in shock about all this craziness. But anyway, I will totally share the crazy awesome 3D/4D photos of my CHILD with you when we get them. I will be excited to see if she actually looks like how she looks. It's like I will be able to see what she looks like before she is even born. Technology! Crazy!
Totally not like super awesome, but still cool, on the 6th, back to the doctor's for me. I have to start going every 2 weeks (instead of every month, which I had been doing before) and then pretty much in January, I have to go every week. They are going to be sick of me! And then it's like Poof! She's here! But I always like the appointments.. it's fun and exciting to hear her heartbeat but then totally LAMEO to see my weight (talk about depressing!) and then hear the carbohydrates lecture. In one ear out the other, I tell ya.
December = Love. I didn't even go into detail about how I have Christmas break, my 4th (Holy cow, already?!) anniversary, Christmas and New Years to look forward to. December, the month to party! Celebrate! Oh, how I waited ALL YEAR for you to get here <3
11302010 / {Pregnancy is a Pain}
Two really cool things happened over the weekend. First of all, on Saturday, I was sitting on the couch, watching TV and all of a sudden someone's leg started making a break for it. It felt like Kaelynn thrust her whole leg out of my stomach. It was crazy! It's so hard to describe. I burst out laughing and tried to explain it to Corey & my mom. That was the first kick, kick that I have felt. It didn't hurt, but it felt so weird.
Speaking of kicking, she has been doing it a lot. It feels like .. you know when a fish skims the top of the water and a little bit of their fins come out? That's like the visual that comes up for me to describe kicking. She's using her legs and her arms to gently push, push. It happens on the right and left side of my belly button. It's a lot higher than where I used to feel the flutters. She was moving all over the place over the weekend. Every time she moved, I would tell Corey to come over to feel her, but of course she would stop. Then on Sunday, while she was very active, I motioned for him to come over and he got to feel her from the outside! It was so cool to be able to share that with him. We tricked her! LOL
Then, the bad parts... on Saturday night, I was woken up at 11:45 p.m. with this achy constant pain in my right side. It spread to my left side but was the most intense on my right side. It was right in my ribcage. I tried rolling over and finding a new position to ease the pain, but nothing helped. Finally, I got up to get a bag of ice (I found that ice helps indigestion, which feels like STABBING pain in my ribcage). The ice wasn't helping. I started to feel panicky. I was so hot and I couldn't breathe. Finally, I woke up Corey because I didn't know what else to do. He was worried, but I tried to explain why I didn't think it was Braxton Hicks contractions and something else. He helped SO MUCH! He helped me with my breathing, to distract me from the pain (I was feeling so helpless). Finally, after like 10+ minutes, the pain went away. It was really scary.
Late, we looked it up on the internet and it seems like the culprit of the pain is my growing uterus (which is now like 4 inches ABOVE my bellybutton) and it's pushing against my ribs and spreading them apart. Awesome. That is totally lame. And apparently, it's pretty common. Alas, there isn't much you can do for it. Stand with your arms above your head, change positions, or move around. But luckily, for the most part, the ice helps.
Of course, I am always nervous that it's going to happen again, especially at school! So, naturally, today, I started feeling the pains in my right side. It definitely didn't feel as intense as it did on Saturday, but at least I had that experience so now I am able to have a better idea of what to do. So I told Kaye that I had to go to the health room. Luckily, the nurse had some ice packs ready and I was able to pack on the ice and the pain went away. The nurse told me that I could keep the ice pack in my room for as long as I need it, so that's better because I will feel even less panicky about it.
It was just so unexpected! Yah, some other super fun things to look forward to during pregnancy. ;) The other things that they don't tell you. I mean, I really can't complain seeing how I've had a pretty smooth sailing up until now.
11142010 / {Carbs}
Last night we had dinner with my Uncle Mike (Dad's older brother) who is visiting from Alaska. We had Auntie Pasto's. I ate a delicious meal of stuffed chicken (minus the ham, which is too salty) on penne pasta.
Speaking of pasta, my doctor keeps telling me that I have to LIMIT MY CARBS: ie, take out pasta, rice, bread, crackers, cereal, etc. ie EVERYTHING THAT IS DELICIOUS AND FILLING. Seriously, that is so hard! I don't know what he expects me to eat. I think I have to go back to the doctor at the end of the week and he's going to take one look at me and be like, "Hmm.. haven't been laying off the carbs, have we?" And I'm going to be like, "Seriously, do you want this baby to starve?!"
So that's my biggest frustration of this pregnancy. Wanting to eat carbs, feeling guitly about eating carbs, and then getting reprimanded for eating carbs. Darn you carbs!
10192010 / {Jellyfishes}
I never thought I would get to the point to feel her. It seemed like I was so late, like I should have been feeling her months ago.
Apparently, she likes the voices of my students. When they are loudly talking in class, I feel her a lot.
It's hard to describe... what the feeling is...
It feels like there are jellyfish floating around in my belly. And every now and then, it's like flick and flutter, and I can feel her pressing against me.
It's not like how they described it and I wouldn't have known what it was if I wasn't paying attention and listening to her.
She also likes music. That's my girl.
It makes me feel good and happy to know that she's okay. She saying, "Hey, Mom, I'm still here.. can't wait to meet you."
I can't wait to be her Mommy. <3
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