I have finally reached the first topic of motherhood that truly makes me want to cry. Yes, we struggled with the BF thing and I did come to tears a few times, however, this really truly, depresses & makes me feel anxious.
The dreaded... day care.
I have had it pretty easy so far. Fortunately, my sister, Scyntha lives around and offered to stay with her during the day. I have been extremely blessed that she came through for us. Kaelynn knows her & enjoys being at her house. It's worked out pretty great so far.
However, we got some bad news. Well, it's bad for us, but good for Scyntha. She starts her internship in the fall. This is the last step before she can graduate from her psychology masters program. It's bad because this internship will be during the day.. while I'm at work & while Corey is in school. Which, leaves Kaelynn with no one.
The options where I quit work or Corey drops out of school aren't really feasible seeing how we need money to live. Which, leaves us with ... daycare.
This makes me want to cry because a) I don't want her to be with someone I don't know all day b) I don't trust many people with my baby & c) daycare is EXPENSIVE. (We are talking $1100 a MONTH for a 6 month old infant.. and that's not even a FULL Day.) How do people afford this?? It's like almost ALL of my take home pay is going to go to daycare. Is it even worth it to work?
I understand that daycare is the norm for most people. I'm sure everyone has anxieties about sending their kids away for the day. I guess, I just thought that I had it pretty good with Scyntha. I guess I didn't really think of a possibility of Kaelynn not being at Scyntha's.
Also extremes like this don't make things look any brighter or make me feel any better.
I am sad that I can't stay at home with her during the day. I don't want someone I don't know being able to see her growing and hitting milestones before me. It sucks.
In my minor research, I have come across two places that take infants as young as 6 weeks: Cole Academy & Stepping Stones Academy. I heard good things about Cole Academy. Haven't heard much about Stepping Stones Academy. Does anyone have any experience with either of these? There is also Kaimaina Kids & Hawaii Kids at Work take infants, but I'm not sure what the child to adult ratio is.
I also know that we have to decide soon because you need to apply (who's to say if Cole even is taking new admission?) because there is a HIGH demand for daycare/preschool on this island. What if we don't get in? What am I supposed to do with her then?
I don't know what to do. My mom emailed her friend who used to watch babies but she's retiring, so there is a big fat no go there. :( I would have loved if she watched Kaelynn. She was great with babies and only took 1-2 of them on at a time. I know most places have a ratio of 4-1 for infants under 1 y/o... but still!
Daycares are full of germs (I know that exposer is good for her, but I don't want her to get sick!). I don't want someone I don't know practically raising her. I am being a humangus baby about this, but she's my baby and I am getting all stressed out about it. I don't know anyone who has a daycare, I can't use the military resources for daycares anymore, I'm not sure about the whole PATCH thing because to be really good, you have to interview like everyone on it and I don't have time to do that until school is over and who knows if that's too late.
Yeah, kinda sound like Debbie Downer.. but I, personally, didn't want to have to go the daycare route, which makes me have a negative attitude regarding the whole thing. It sucks, but I'm willing to accept help. Help me please? Any suggestions/advice is GLADLY appreciated. :(
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